The Girlfriend Talks
by Lady Raven1
Summary: Puar gets Yamucha to tell her what he wants in a girl after one of the millons of parties he goes to


Author's Note: Hello This is my first story. I have a few things to clear up so that you  
understand why this is a short story. This starts a episode between the drunked Yamucha and my  
personal favorite character, Puar. So don't flame me if you like Bulma and Yamucha (*author gags)  
This also has a character named Amanda, she is the adopted daughter of Goku and Chi-Chi, and Vegeta's  
new wife. (when my friend puts up her stories it will make more since), just go with it. Amanda is  
one of Puar's best friends.  
Disclaimer: Ok no I don't own these Characters I just borrowed them for a while in my stories.  
  
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The Girlfriend Talk  
  
Yamucha came back home from a party somewhat inebriated. Puar looked at the clock and read that is was 2:28 am.  
"Oh so you're home early",   
Puar said sarcastically.   
"Yeah I guesssssss so."   
Yamucha's eyes were extremely fuzzy and his breath smelled of vodka and lemons, Puar's nose could barely stand it.   
"Lord Yamucha, you really need to lay off of the booze!"  
"Puar, why don't you come to these par-parties with me?"  
"Cause Lord Yamucha, I'M A CAT!"  
"OH yeah, you are, aren't you?"   
Puar always decided to let Yamucha get away with these things while he was drunk, even though sometimes it was quite   
difficult. She smiled at her friend; she knew he would always be there for her, as she always was for him.  
"Puar, next time come with me morphed as a…as a…a sorority chick!"  
"Yamucha, you would want me to come with you?"  
"Nah I just want you to get laid!"  
He smiled at Puar with his 'I am a pitiful idiot, please love me' smile. Puar didn't buy it that night. She floated into her room,   
leaving Yamucha to stumble into his. She stopped in front of her full-length mirror. * Am I really that unlovable? * Puar's purple  
tail swished back and forth. * I wish he could just see how much…what I am thinking? YAMUCHA IS AS DENSE AS   
GOKU!!! * Puar laid down in her cream colored bed and started to cry. She ended up crying herself to sleep,  
with the help of Yamucha's awful singing.  
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Yamucha sat in his room thinking, or at least trying to. * What was that chick's name? Melissa? Megan? Mary? Meredith?   
Man now I can't even remember. Hey, what is that noise? * Yamucha pressed his head against the wall and heard sobs   
coming from Puar's room. * Why is she crying? She just must be really tired * Yamucha tried to sing the song "Save the  
best for Last". Puar got louder every time he held a note. *Well I am not helping her it seems, I am just gonna go to sleep *   
Yamucha took two aspirins and passed out on his bed.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________  
In the morning Puar woke up; the birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and Yamucha was snoring. Puar decided to do   
something special for her lord.* I know! I'll make Lord Yamucha breakfast! He will love it * Puar made scrambled eggs,   
bacon, ham, and m&m waffles. She banged on the Yamucha's door with her tail. "Lord Yamucha, breakfast is served!"  
She entered the room to see Yamucha sprawled out all over the bed with the oddest expression on his face.   
"Yamucha…Lord Yamucha? Yamucha…time to get up…LORD YAMUCHA GET OUT OF BED!"  
Yamucha squealed and rolled so quickly that he rolled himself off the bed. *Whomp*.  
"Puar! Don't do that at noon…hey breakfast!"  
Yamucha leapt up off of the ground and began to devour all of the food. Puar started to laugh a little.  
"I'm glad you like it Lord Yamucha"  
"Puar you know, you would make the perfect girlfriend if you were human."  
"Really?"  
"Of course would I lie?"  
Yamucha gave Puar is 'idiot' smile.   
"But I thought you just wanted to get me laid."  
Puar seemed to end up with a pitchfork and horns with the fires of hell behind her after that comment. Yamucha wasn't  
scared; he was terrified of his kitty friend for a moment.  
"Puar…take it easy…no Puar, look I was drunk. Did you honestly expect for me to be serious while I am drunk?"  
"Well…yeah."  
"Puar please don't be mad at me, I love you like my sister, please?"  
"Alright Lord Yamucha"  
"Puar, stop calling me Lord Yamucha"  
"Ok Lor…Yamucha".  
Puar started to eat a little of her breakfast, Yamucha ate the rest of it. Puar started to ponder something.   
Suddenly, Puar bolted to her room and returned with a pad of paper and a fountain pen.  
"Yamucha I am going to help you settle down."  
Yamucha almost died right then a there.  
"Puar I am only…uh well it doesn't matter how old I am".  
"You idiot, you don't remember do you?"  
"Yeah well…."  
"No buts or excuses. I want you to tell me what you want in a girlfriend."  
"Puar, why do you want to help me so much?"  
* Because you stupid drunk, I want to be her *  
"Because Yamucha, I…just want to see you happy".  
"Ok"  
Yamucha started to think and you could really hear those wheels turning!  
"Well, she needs to be able to hold her alcohol."  
"YAMUCHA!"  
"Ok Puar I was just kidding. First she needs to be funny".  
"Mmm-hmmm"  
"She needs to be athletic and tough enough to go rock climbing or be able to fight."  
Puar's hand was going ninety miles an hour writing all the things that Yamucha was saying.  
"Her smile has to be contagious, she hopefully will be able to cook".  
Yamucha was doing well in Puar's opinion…then it all went downhill.  
"And she must like singing with me".  
"Yamucha what are you talking about? You can't sing!"  
"Awww Puar, chicks love it."  
"Singing yes, but not your singing."  
"But I take girls to Karaoke bars all the time, why don't they say anything?"  
"You know, Karaoke is Japanese for Tone Deaf."  
"Puar do you have to be so mean to me?"  
"Yamucha I am just trying to help you, that's all".  
"Hey…your not trying to hook me back up with Bulma, are you?"  
"OH Hell NO!"  
Puar started to cringe and then pout at Yamucha. Yamucha knew he hurt her feelings, though he didn't understand how.  
"Puar I am sorry."  
"Its Ok Lord Yamucha."  
"I told you not to call me that!"  
"Sorry."  
Yamucha had to go to baseball spring training that day so when he left Puar floated over to the phone. Puar called one  
of the only people she could think of, Chi-Chi.  
"Hello?"  
"Hey Chi-Chi. It's Puar. Ummm I need your help and I was wondering if you could come by here to talk to  
me about…something."  
"Goku is sparring in the backyard, so it should be alright. What is this about Puar?"  
"I am having…* gulp * men problems".  
"Me and the rest of the girls will be there soon Puar".  
"But-"  
"No Buts Puar, I will see you soon. Bye!"  
Puar got worried, * I have just gotten myself into a bunch of trouble *.  
About half an hour later there was a knock on the apartment door. Puar opened the door to find Chi-Chi, Bulma,   
Amanda, Bra and Pan.  
"Hi Puar", all the girls chirped.  
"Ummm hi girls, look I just wanted Chi-Chi and Amanda here."  
"Well too bad", Bulma said, "You need help in the male area and here are the experts."  
"I am sorry but this is really personal, could the rest of you guys go and understand?"  
So respectfully Bulma, Pan and Bra left.   
"Ok that was just weird", muttered Puar.  
"Yeah well, my daughter and I are here to help", Chi-Chi plopped on the couch.  
"So who is the guy?" asked Amanda.  
"Well I love…ummm this is hard to say. I am in love with-"  
"Yamucha?" asked Amanda, "I knew that you would be, does he know?"  
" Amanda, Yamucha is as oblivious as your dad."  
"Yeah that's true", Chi-Chi added.  
"Yeah" added the other two.  
"So how are you gonna tell him?"  
"I don't think I am going to tell him Amanda, what good would it do me? To him I am just a purple floating sister,   
and his cat."Puar then began to cry. * Wow she really does care about Yamucha *, Amanda thought * I guess she has loved   
him forever, or at least since she has been with him *"It will be Ok Puar", Chi-Chi explained, " You can always date  
Pikachu again."  
"Ummm mom, that was a shocking experience for her I don't think she wants to go back to that".   
Amanda couldn't help but make the pun. At least it cheered Puar up. Puar then got this odd look on her face, a look as if  
she had a plan.  
"Chi-Chi?"  
"Yes Puar?"  
"How do I find the Dragon?"  
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Later that night Yamucha came home from practice. He opened the door to find his apartment perfectly clean (for a change),  
and his dinner fixed. Next to his plate was a letter. Yamucha read the note, and it said:  
Yamucha,  
Hello. I am sorry to tell you this but I need to go away for a little bit of time. I know you really don't need me   
anyways so I won't bother you anymore. I'll be back in two or three months, it just depends. But possibly my   
friend might come stay with you for a while,   
I gave her the key, don't worry she won't make a dent in your social life.  
Love  
Puar  
^..^  
Yamucha put down the letter and got worried. * What if she gets lost or hurt? What if she dies? What if she never comes back? *  
  
-The end  
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SO what did you think? If you really like this story please tell me. Oh I and if you like Pikachu  
don't kill me for sticking him with purple one. (*looks around for frying pans of flaming) Ok Well  
PLEASE REVIEW. And look for my new story "For Love and Humanity"~ 


End file.
